What No One Tells You About Having Kids
I'm not a parent, thankfully, because I can barely take care of a house plant let alone a tiny human.
I do, however, have a lot of friends who are becoming parents for the first time. It's exciting, it's magical, it's... absolutely terrifying. Why? Because even from my childless sidelines I can see that there are many things about having chilluns that you just don't learn until you have one.
Even the antics of Tom Selleck's comedic romps from the 80s can't fully prepare you for the experience of becoming a full time momma or poppa.
I found this hilarious blog that lists 30 things you should be prepared for before baby arrives. There's some strong language, but it's so funny you just might end up having that baby early (Make sure you're sitting down).
Here are some highlights from the list...
- There are a lot of doctor’s appointments during the first year. It’s very unglamorous. Your baby will be measured, weighed, and given shots on a near weekly basis. You will spend half your waking hours in doctor’s waiting rooms, surrounded by sick children.
- What to Expect Books are the worst. Every new parent will have a copy of What to Expect In Your First Year. You may have five copies, because every one will want to buy you one. Why? To scare you to death.
- It doesn’t matter how much you love your significant other, or how much he or she loves you. It doesn’t matter if you’ve never had an argument in your life. You will argue when you have a baby. You are tired. You are thin-skinned. Everything will set you off. You will assign blame to your significant other for everything, because assigning blame absolves you of it. But rest assured, whatever it was, it was your fault.
- Don’t feel obligated to sign your child up for everything, particularly if enrolling your child in a certain activity makes life more difficult for you. If you’re miserable transporting your kid around the city and watching them flop around on the floor in a tutu, that misery will be reflected in your child.
So how 'bout you parents? What little surprises did you discover after having your little bundle of joy?
-Ian