Red Faced at the Checkout
Life is filled with eventualities. Like growing old, refilling a tank of gas, and Lindsay Lohan's next DUI. Sooner or later, it's just going to happen.
And a lot of these inevitable events will involve making a purchase of some kind. Car dies? Get a new one! Out of toothpaste? Buy a new tube! Lohan back behind bars? Better make bail!
The thing is, sometimes buying these things can, well, be kind of embarrassing. I'm not talking about toothpaste here (Unless you haven't brushed in years and your teeth are on the verge of straight up falling out of your face... in which case, dear god!? Get out of Wal-Mart and get yourself to a dentist! Post haste!) I'm talking about other kinds of every day essentials.
For me, it's toilet paper.
I know, I know. Everybody poops. Children's literature tought me that a long time ago. But there's just something about walking around the aisles of the grocery store clutching a 24 pack of two-ply that doesn't exactly inspire a lot of confidence. It's a glaring indication to everyone around you that sooner than later you're going to be squatting on the porcelain throne.
And that's just an unattractive first thought to have about a person... especially coming from the cute check out clerk.
So what are you embarrassed to be seen buying? Listen to some of your calls over there beneath the photo. I'll be off trying to bury my shame in a good book.
Probably while sitting on the can.